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| Amana in the End Times. |
May the Lord of Voltage and Ohms give thee eternal rest,
Thou box of chill,
Thou maker of ice.
Thee who labored these seventeen years, almost unfailingly,
Who, when serviced by the Sears layer on of hands, he, who in
turn inevitably asked
“Dost thou have an extended warranty?”
You, who despite the lack thereof, tolerated said service and
bills of $175 each time and merrily hummed back to life to chill again.
We honor you.
We thank you.
We ask eternal rest for your weariness.
Freedom from the many hands who carelessly flung you open,
Who rooted in your very depths for imagined plunder.
May you be granted peace.
You, who tolerated magnets, postcards, permission slips, and
general grime on your sleek exterior,
You who nourished a family and their ever hungry canines,
You who proudly withstood the assaults of the Locusts (a careless hoard of teen aged boys)
Who searched for soda, and delights to feed their insatiable
hunger, those very souls who inevitably left thy doors ajar!
Despite these things – you continued to serve unerringly.
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| Amana and some of her Bling |
When the older son of the family tried out the mantle of veganism,
you chilled Hemp Milk, patiently, though it tasted like bathwater.
And the younger, who constantly, constantly sought
seltzer water, you quenched his thirst with grace and freedom from complaints.
When the mother tried out beet juice and black cherry juice
for the various insults of age, you offered these to her without fear of the
stains that could forever mar your pristine interior.
Likewise when the father stumbled home from work on the
occasion of a a Friday evening, you were there for him, whispering those holy
words: This Bud’s For You.
You served us tirelessly.
When you, Amana, were called upon to host a Great Thanksgiving, or other family get-together, you managed to Cool
Enormous turkeys,
Endless pies,
Potato salads,
Deviled eggs,
Sides of all makings,
Always, always making room were before there was none, like a miracle of loaves and fishes.
We marvel at your generosity and hospitality and wish we
could ourselves
Be more like thee.
And when precious daughters joined the family, you welcomed them in your steady, unassuming way, ever a Martha.
We express our thanks to the Reports of Consumer, who directed
us to you.
They knew what selfless duty thou would provide and awarded
you their CHECK RATING.
We selected you above all others and you were borne into our
new home on the strong backs of the movers so that you might greet us upon our
arrival
As you did so again and again.
We admit freely our sin of familiarity. We seek penance
because we did not glory in your tireless service, day after day, appreciating
your faithfulness.
But now, Amana, we honor Thee above all other appliances and
thank the engineer who designed you, and the assembly line that birthed you, and the technician who installed your icemaker and yes, even the man of repair.
Because through their knowledge and skills we knew thee well.
So,
our friend of 17 years,
Soon the men from the Depot of Home will visit,
Bringing in another to replace irreplaceable you.
They will carry you out on their broad backs,
To we know not where.
But we can hope there is some place for you in the
afterlife,
Where your parts may be recycled,for it would please us greatly to know that Thou were not simply dumped in a mass grave.
Yet even so, the veil of mystery keeps this from us.
Where your parts may be recycled,for it would please us greatly to know that Thou were not simply dumped in a mass grave.
Yet even so, the veil of mystery keeps this from us.
So go soon, our friend, and be delivered from us,
that thou may take eternal rest,
oh good and faithful servant.
that thou may take eternal rest,
oh good and faithful servant.
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| Amana with an early subset of the Locusts, celebrating the Holidays |
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| Amana welcomes Lilly |
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| Amana Welcomes Rebecca |
